Long time....

I know, it’s been a long time hasn’t it? I have had so much to do I’ve not known where to put myself or even what day of the week it is most of the time.  My time has been one long episode of lesson planning, finding resources and worrying that I’m totally going to much up in front of a class full of small boys.  Luckily this hasn’t happened yet, but there is still time…

It was such a huge culture shock coming from Stonar to this - they really could not be more polar opposite schools – that I felt extremely overwhelmed and uptight all of the time, unable to do anything without  that sick feeling that you get when you’re really nervous, not sleeping well, waking up through the night sweating, being unable to get to sleep in the first place because there was so much going round and round in my head.  The worst few days were before my observation by my university tutor last week.  I really didn’t know what he was going to say.  Do I have an annoying voice?  Do I do or say something over again that gets irritating after 5 minutes? Am I actually any good at this teaching lark or is it time to pack up and go home?  Honestly, it’s like being at the longest job interview in the world.

Well, my university tutor had nothing bad to say.  Cue instant relief.  There is plenty of room for improvement, of course, but he said he was happy with me.  Yippee!

It now feels as if a huge weight has been lifted from me, and I can get on and start enjoying myself.  I find I am actually looking forward to going into school in the mornings, trying new things out and testing the waters between me and the hundreds of small children (some not so small) that cross my path every day.  Yes I still get nervous, but it’s starting to fade down and is much more manageable.  I am rarely waking in a cold sweat in the night and have almost totally stopped feeling sick.

I rather like the school now too.  As I’ve said before, it’s not without its problems, but I am so much better at managing everything that it’s become much easier over the past week or so.  I know my way around, I have friends in the staff room, and I’m finally able to start learning the tips of the trade from the experts.  All in all, I’m quite happy.  If I’d dared to write anything in here during the week after half term you’d have thought I was just about to pack it in (I felt like it. It was awful).  I’m so glad that the university took me seriously and sent me off to learn about behaviour management for a day.  A little bit of compassion goes a very long way.  I talked it through with my mentor at school, with other new teachers, with everyone who would listen really, and they all said the same thing: they have all been to that same dark place and managed to come out of the other side a better person.

There’s also the fact that 2 of my sisters are qualified teachers.  There’s no WAY I’m giving up.  Can you imagine the ribbing I’d get?  I’d never be allowed to forget it.

So here I am, three weeks until Christmas, six teaching weeks until the end of the placement here at William Parker.  That’s only three teaching cycles (we work on a two week timetable- another concept totally alien to me).  Thirty days at school. Wow.  Then a month at uni before the second placement starts.

I really can’t wait until the holidays. I am sooooo heartily sick of working past bedtime.  Ho hum, it’s not forever, and it is right on top of my list of reasons not to work in a private school.

I think I’m going to miss working here when the time comes to leave*.  The staff are so friendly that no matter what the kids throw at you (literally and metaphorically speaking – one of the cover teachers was assaulted with a desk fan a couple of days ago) there is always a friendly someone who will listen and pat you on the back and reassure you that you’re doing ok.  It really is a great place to be.

*the management reserves the right to totally change her mind about this at any time.

Reshaping the beret

I know it should be a cloth badge. But it's fun!

Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

Please say no....

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/9634138/Would-you-pass-the-new-trainee-teacher-test.html

I have to say, this teaching lark is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.  No, that's not quite true.  The actual teaching bit is the easy bit, it's all the other stuff that is difficult.

There is so much extra work involved - most of which the university makes up to be fair, this is the stuff I can ditch when I'm qualified, which will the year after next.  So the next two years will be awful, and after that it will be plain sailing.  Right?

Mmm.

I've just handed in my first assignment, which was three lesson plans (already taught) and a 2000 word rationale all about
a) differentiation (not the maths kinds, but the bit where we are supposed to be able to teach genius and...er...inbility just as effectively in the same lesson. Yeah right),
b) assessment for learning, or AFL as we teachers call it, which is where we make constant assessment of the class throughout the lesson to see how the little darlings (cough) are absorbing (cough, splutter) all the information presented,
c) progression - i.e. can I work on what I have done and make it better next time around,
d) reflections, the wordy reasoning all about the above point,
e) the use of brilliant resources and course material
f).....you get the picture....

There is so much to think about, so many techniques to learn and practise, so much planning, and I cannot emphasise how much planning there is to do - each lesson must have a plan submitted 2 days before I teach it, and in a few weeks time I will be teaching 12 hours a week, and the plans are currently taking me 1 - 2 hours each; so worst case scenario I have 36 hours of teaching and planning.  Plus I have to evaluate every lesson, write a reflection on it, say what I could have done ebetter and what I did well.... we're rapidly heading into the 48 hour territory here, plus I have to collect evidence for my teaching standards and upload it all onto the university system, another 5 hours a week (53 hours so far...), and I'm supposed to have a daughter who needs my time, and a dog (not for long, if he carries on the way he's going), and a family....  And some time to sleep might be a nice thing to have as well.  Plus I have more assignments for university to do, which involve a lot of reading and taking notes.

And I have these silly tests to pass (link above).  We get one go for free, a further 2 charged at £20 a time if we fail, and after that guess what?  Yep, exclusion for 2 years.  2 YEARS! I mean, really.  Talk about government vote winning tactics or what.  Actually, please don't talk about that, I've had enough.  That's a can of worms that will remain firmly shut for the moment.  Firmly.  Shut.

Half term could not come soon enough.

So basically I'm very, very busy.  It's been great having a couple of days at Uni a week to relax a bit, chew the fat, drink the odd beer and generally have a whinge about how hard life is at the moment with my friends.  You should have seen us all last week, big bags under our eyes, practically sleep walking our way through lectures.  It was quite comedic really, but strangely cathartic to see your peers suffering right along with you. 

I have taught 5 hours so far in my life, some good, some not so good, but mostly enjoyable despite the hours of preparation being wasted because these kids just don't want to be at school and refuse point blank to play the game.  Sometimes it's quite depressing.  I'm planning to go and work in a very selective, lovely, private school where the parents actually take some part in their childrens lives and where theachers don't avoid the pupils because that would mean dealing with their behaviour, which is spiraling rapidly out of control and verging in being dangerous.  In my first week I thought I was going to be hit, I've been nearly pushed down the stairs and also almost kicked over by two boys having a 'play' fight in the corridor.  I've learned why teachers avoid pupils.  I now do the same.

It's bonkers really.  We need police, not teachers. 

In my classes I have approximately 40% of pupils with special educational needs.  Surely this can't be right?  Is the school applying them with a label just to account for their poor progress?  The label would better be applied as 'lazy and can't be bothered to learn' in most of the cases.  I'm teaching 13 yeard old boys who can't even write a sentence.  There is no way they will be able to get decent GCSEs because they just will not learn, and say they don't care.

I know Hastings is a pretty deprived area in terms of social factors.  I know that those who can afford it send their kids away to find a decent education, and we are left with the rest.  But I also know that it's not a case of teachers failing students, it's more like a case of parents failing to bring their kids up properly and thus failing the education system.  There's only so much you can do in a couple of hours a week with a child, only so many times you can discipline a child before the sanctions don't work any more, and you can't afford to exclude them from the school because the school gets charged £8000 for each pupil excluded.  And we can't even afford textbooks.  It is ludicrous.  There are at least 8 children I can think of off the top of my head who need to be excluded because nobody can learn while they are in the room.  That's £64,000.  Yikes.  These kids are failing the school, not the teachers.  Take the boy (we'll call him J) who insists on walking around the classroom punching the other boys, taking their pens out of their hands, tearing up their work and generally being a nuisance.  J does not have a statement of special educational needs, probably because his parents can't manage to sort out the application process.  In fact I'd be willing to bet that they can't read or write either.  Would I be punished for sending him out of the room time and time again?  You bet I would, because 'Every Child Matters', and yet there are several other boys in the class who could raise up a grade or two if they were allowed to work.  What can you do? Don't they matter too?

So what am I going to do about it?

Well, apply for a job in a different school for a start.  One where there isn't a child (M) who hates women.  Vocally.  And frequently.

But for the minute, I'm stuck at William Parker, and in Hastings.  I'm pretty determined to learn all I can from this rather eye-opening experience.  And lobby for the return of National Service.  And then apply for a different school.

No, seriously, there is a lot of satisfaction to be gained from getting through on some level to some of these kids, and I find myself feeling really sorry for them having to go through life as a totally dysfunctional adult who cannot see past the end of his own nose.  I want to be the best that I can, and if that means struggling to find a way through to some of these boys then I'm prepared for now.  But I will need an easier time in the future, there's no doubt about it.

Did you know that 50% of new teachers leave the profession before the 5 year point?  I wonder why...

Right. Rant over.  I feel better now, thanks for listening.  I'm at William Parker until 25th January, then start a different placement in March.  I'll take anything where boys are not thumping each other all day long and I have a chance of not losing my voice. 

I'll keep you posted.

In for a penny....

I get to teach my first lesson tomorrow.  I've been told I'll pass just a long as a) some learning takes place, and b) nobody gets sent to A&E.  Fingers crossed.

The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur really, I don't know where the time has gone.  I've been in school from Mondays - Wednesdays and then at Uni Thursdays & Fridays, and it's been fun to swap ideas about lessons, and yarns about how brilliant we are and what we've managed to achieve. Mostly it's not a lot, but you have to start somewhere.

School has been at once frustrating and hectic.  It's difficult to find the time to eat and drink, and subsequently use the toilet, so I've been spending most of the days pretty well dehydrated and coming home with a headache.  I've also been itching to get my hands wet, so to speak,because observing lesson after lesson is pretty dull and I've run out of things to write about in my reflections.

There are also the usual admin (or lack of) stresses, such as:
not knowing how to get about the rabbit warren that is William Parker,
not being able to print on the school network,
not having access to the relevant course material (can you believe it....what good is a teacher who can't see what it is they're going to teach?),
not having a key to the science labs (and having to queue up with the kids while they're busy throwing their ties down the stairs, kicking each other and generally being dreadful),
not knowing the school rules (a copy of these does not exist anywhere),
not really understanding a great deal of what goes on, anywhere....

My professional tutor today asked me for my opinion about the school on the proviso that nothing said would leave the room.  So I told her the conclusions I came to after week one (I'm not going to repeat it online in case the Google Monster picks it up and I get fired) and I felt a lot better.  She wouldn't say whether she agreed with me or not, but a certain twinkle in the eye, cheesy grin and nudge in the ribs appeared to indicate an opinion not far away from mine.  Call me and I'll tell you if you like, but it's not very exciting.

It's not all bad.  I really like the department I work in, they are extremely friendly and welcoming and seem to make a really good team.  I like most of the kids, and those that I don't like usually have a pretty dreadful story to tell which explains (but does not excuse, I add here) their terrible behaviour, language and general inability/unwillingness to participate in class.  The behavioral policy is strong, although it is not implemented consistently, so there is always support when you're having a dreadful time with a pupil.

All in all I'm pretty happy at the moment, and most of the little stresses and niggles will go away in time....  Except the kids.  They won't go away.  But anyway, if they weren't there then this blog would be pretty pointless....

I'll get back to you tomorrow, after they've hung me up to dry after a lesson on the carbon cycle.  With any luck I'll have enjoyed myself, they will have learned something and nobody will have gone to A&E.  Not even me.

Comedy

Just had PSHE group, all about body language and expression. Watched Catherine Tate and Harry Enfield. Hilarious! Then was treated to some home made comedy from the kids, interesting to see how some of the troublesome ones were really good at acting. Very amusing morning. I don't think that physics can possibly match up after that!


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Call me Ma'am

I forgot to say, I've joined the CCF (cadets) as well.  Time to dust off the old 2Lt rank slides and get back in the saddle!  Yippee!

William Parker

You know, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be!

I can't believe I've had a week there already and am into the second.  The time has flown by and it has been really good despite not knowing what I am doing, where I am going and what on earth I can say to boys who are karate kicking each other halfway up the stairwell, sticking thermometers down the backs of their trousers ("I'm just taking my anal temperature Miss"), and setting fire to their blazer sleeves with bunsen burners.  Young boys are soooooo lovely.

Well the day I arrived (last Monday) was a very, very bad day to arrive.  You can't make this stuff up.

The last chemistry teacher had died the previous morning.  Suddenly.






Well quite.  I didn't know what to say either, so I spent the morning in maths classes before venturing over to the science labs fully expecting to be sent on my way and no longer welcome at the school, but I was not, and for that I am very thankful because I am really enjoying myself.  I was very unsure about how I would deal with 'behaviour' and what sort of 'behaviour' I would encounter (answer:  you think it, they do it), but having spent so long watching other teachers and seeing what they do I have realised that (a) there is no particular method you can use, (b) trial and error is as good a way as any of finding out, and (c) often just doing nothing can help.  Of course there is (d) call the crisis helpline, but that is hardly ever needed, apparently.

I have spent quite a lot of time being quite bored and totally disorientated by the wierd twisting split-level architecture that is so common around here, what with there being lots of cliffs and hills and stuff. But what I have loved is getting to know the boys regardless of how 'bad' they are, because they are all really fun to be around.  Yes, it's pretty difficult to make some of them concentrate and do work, and there are some classes with some very special people in who do some very strange things, but getting to interact with them really makes my day.

Well, that and the fact that I only see them for about 5 hours.  It is nice when they all go home.

So despite what was probably the worst start in history and a pretty crummy first few days, I love this job already.  Which is lucky, because the University just gave me a huge bill.  T'would be a shame to waste the money!

Behaviour

I had a brilliant seminar today from a guy called Paul Dix, who travels the country visiting schools and other learning establishments with behaviour management problems and offers them training and strategies to help them improve, with outstanding results even in the worst places. It was probably the best three hours I have ever spent its context; he was fascinating, believable and positive, and terribly enthusiastic about kids in general. I have a wonderful pack of really useful information and some customisable scripts which can be used to put a lid on disrespectful behaviour. Watch out everybody, I am now a trained psychological manipulator....I can bend your will to match mine....

I think we should have had this talk sooner, because most of the questions and debates we have had here have centred around the issues of bad behaviour and I think I could have got a lot more out of the course so far if this hadn't been the case.

Anyway, my placement school until ten to nine this morning was a lovely private mixed secondary with a snappy uniform (red and blue striped waistcoats, dontcha know), ponies and an archery range. At ten to nine I was informed that I am now going to William Parker, which is a boys secondary Church of England school just up the road from home, with a mixed sixth form on a different campus. It is a sports college which has produced international sportsmen (a rugby player and a cricketer, don't ask me who), and apparently I have been asked to go because it is a new placement school and the university wants to make a good impression. Yay for me! In the manner of scientific verification, I have had this last piece of info from two independent sources, so it must be true. Stop sniggering.

I think it will be good for me, as one of the things I really don't know about is boys at school, and the second is state education. And they have Ofsted next week, to top it all off. I hope I'm not in the way!

I really can't wait to get into school now and get my teeth stuck in and really start learning. I expect that will have changed by about Wednesday next week, when I start to question exactly what I have done. I'm sure I'll be fine. This might well change.....

End of week two

I started this blog with really good intentions. I meant to keep up with the 'journey' through the application process, subject knowledge enhancement and PGCE course. So far I've been pretty bad, so here is an attempt to redress the situation, written as I am waiting for my connection to Falmer at Hampden Park station. At ten to eight in the morning. I left the house at seven. I got up at 6. I don't love commuting, and it's not even winter yet...

So anyway, the PGCE course started last Monday, a whole two weeks before the rest of the university starts, because we have a lot to cover between the beginning of September and the start of our first school placements three weeks later. Oh yes, one more week of commenting before I am faced with hoardes of spotty teenagers all trying desperately not to learn any chemistry because they are having a hard time of experiencing the effects of chemistry on their growing bodies. (I'm sure the biologists could say the same thing, but the physicists can't, which probably says something profound about physics).

So far it's been fun but a bit confusing. We spent the first week talking about 'Reflection' and why it is so important in our professional development. Really? A whole week? I'm pretty sure I grasped the concept after day two, but there you go. We also looked at other stuff.....I can't really remember what, I was probably too busy reflecting. We had a few inspiring talks, many horror stories, and lots and lots of group discussions. I must admit it has been difficult getting my brain to think straight after so long with very little intellectual stimulation, so much so that I've been finding it difficult to form coherent sentences when I get home. I hide this by having in depth conversations with Jocelyn.

This week has been longer hours, but more meaty in terms of information imparted. Yes, we've still had the fluffy stuff, but it seems more relevant now and we're being given more information about what we will be doing and what direction we we are going in.

Take lesson planning for example. I assumed that before we started trying to plan a lesson we might get to read a lesson plan. Wrong. Crikey the train has just gone past a field and I saw a lady doing Tai Chi In the middle of it in a bright blue track suit. Well, whatever suits you lovely, now that I'm officially not allowed to be judgemental or stereotype anyone. Anyway, back to lesson planning. It's very hard to know the difference between an aim and an outcome if it's not explained very carefully, and how do I know how to break a syllabus down into the appropriate number of lessons?! There has been a lot of thinking going on. I'm getting better at it.

What have I learned? Mostly that teachers love the sound of their own voice. Which is useful.

Next week is more of the same I think, and after that I start my school placement which will carry me through until Christmas. My school is called Buckswood, and it's just like Stonar except there are boys there. Yep, ponies, netball, music and more, and best of all it's only ten minutes away by car which is heaps better than my current generous hour and a half each way. My professional tutor is called Gilly Johnson, and I was taught RS by a lady called Gilly Johnson at Stonar. Coincidence? Or is it her? I will find out when I meet her on Tuesay.

Also of note, Jocelyn started at primary school on Tuesday. Daddy was around to take her in and collect her which was lovely for them both. She's having an absolute ball and has been pinging off the walls each evening, it's like she's suddenly grown up and matured (well, as much as you can when you're only four) overnight, and I am very glad. I don't think I could relax and enjoy my course if she was unhappy.

More later, got to go. X

Taxpayers beware

I'm officially a student! Lessons start this afternoon and I'm pretty scared.... First school placement in three weeks time.

Heres a pic of the university just to prove I'm here!




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Practicals

Some fun chemicals. If I can work out how to get the picture up!

I'm currently in the second week at Sussex University doing the last module of the course which is two weeks of easy practicals and not much work to do. All I have left after here is one weekend of writing up then I'm finished! Hurray!



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One more home study module to push

For those that don't know, I just scored 100% in module 4. I have already given myself a large pat on the back for being brilliant.

I spent last week at The Wensleydale School in Leyburn, near Catterick, doing my 5 day secondary school observation period. Far from being frightened off, I had a really lovely time getting involved in the lessons - I even taught a little bit - and getting to know the kids and teachers.

I was struck by 3 things:
1) Kids are pretty thick and wear too many accessories
2) I have a great deal more knowledge than your average science teacher (unless we're talking physics, in which case I am also a thicko)
3) Having a biology degree too makes me more versatile and hence more employable .....to all you posh schools with horses and swimming pools.....PICK ME!

I also noticed that amost nothing I have learned in my course so far was included in the GCSE syllabus that the school was using, and that basically the teachers wing it on a daily basis. It sounds perfect!

So I have now completed 4 out of 6 modules, with the last being taught at university over a 2 week period. This means that I only have 1 more module to complete at home before 22nd June, so if I'm good and work hard then I can have a week or two off before I have to travel to Sussex to finish it off. All my course feedback so far has been excellent (naturally) and I've been enjoying it - not the late nights and weekend study, but in general the subject has been interesting and straightforward.

That is until now....organic chemistry is the one thing I remember from A-level as being really complicated and I have a stack of print-outs about 2 inches high, which is about double a normal module. But still, I can't see that I can possibly fail now...can I?!

Mostly I just can't wait to have a weekend off with nothing to do. My cleaners have been a real boost and my husband has been making himself very useful in the kitchen (he even washed my car for me - what a saint!) yet I still find I am running around like a headless chicken with very little free time. This is not only due to the coursework, but also because we have been spending Saturdays driving around choosing things to go in our new house, like floors and bathrooms. I think we have about 12 samples of engineered oak flooring in the dining room in different shades and textures, along with as many catalogues for kitchens, bathrooms, log burners, doors, door furniture (snigger) etc, but we're nearly finished. I think it will be tiles next. And then paint. Ugh.

I have, however, treated myself to a few presents with my bursary money:
1) A new watch (I changed the battery in the last one and the back wouldn't stay on and I had to use superglue, but then I have had it for 10 years)
2) Some shoes (for summertime at work)
3) Some new clothes (ditto)
4) A pair of limited edition GHD straighteners in red (beautiful and practical).

All in all I've done pretty well. Now all I have to do is shed the 1/2 stone I've put on through not doing much exercise and eating chocolate (who says study is all bad?!) in time for Richard's wedding. But with all the free time I'm just about to have, that shouldn't be too hard. Not as hard as learning chemistry anyway.

Cripes....

....I can't actually believe that it's been two weeks since I last posted on here. I've completed module 3 with 95% (but the test was very, very easy) and have broken the back of the home study modules with only two left to do before my two weeks at university.

One of the stranger things I have to write at the end of each module is called a 'Reflection', in which I have a side of A4 to review the results of the various tests I have to take and compare them at the start and finish of each module, and 'reflect' up on my learning style and studying ability. It's the last part that I have had trouble with...I spent 4 years at university studying, and aside from a few minor (rather obvious) suggestions such as making sure I set aside time when I won't be disturbed, writing crib cards etc, I'm pretty sure that my study technique is top notch (cue sound of one blowing one's trumpet).

For my last 'reflection' I wrote about trying to think more about my thought processes while I am learning, to try to capture them on paper and simplify them so that another person could read my notes and come to the same conclusions that I did.

Now....does anyone have any ideas for what I can put in the next two 'reflections'? I feel I'm scraping the barrel here and have all but run out of ideas. 3 sets of 2 'study targets' needed please.

Module 4 is all about kinetics and equilibria, which means maths with a little bit of physics thrown in. I don't think I'm going to like this one very much and my calculator has been enjoying his rest at the bottom of my 'school bag'. I have a large pile of powerpoint notes to use in conjunction with my video study - the size of which is already depressing me despite the fact that I print them off for free at work. No hang on, that actually does make me feel a little bit better. Free stuff does cheer one up somewhat.

I have also been busy picking doors and handles and a kitchen and flooring and all sorts for the new house. I swear that Darryl never stops working. He is also a complete slave driver, so if anyone wants to pick a wood burning stove plus fire surround plus mantelpiece plus tiles for the utility room floor plus tiles for a kitchen splashback and some carpets and kitchen flooring and what colour render and.....and breathe......then please do. Really. Do.

2 down...and sleep...

2 modules complete, and I need a rest!

I honestly hadn't reckoned on how much this extra study was going to take out of my reserves of (a) patience (b) energy and (c) general goodwill towards men. And women. I'm really rather tired and in need of a holiday.

But only 4 left to do. I'm a third of the way through, which is worth celebrating I think!

The good news is that I have managed to sort out a school placement at The Wensleydale School in Leyburn, which is about 10 minutes from Kindergarten. This a great, as my plan C was to go to James's school - not ideal when you consider a Jocelyn thrown in to the mix, although it would have been lovely to spend the week with my family.

More good news: I have had my holiday cleared from work to attend this 5 day placement and also for my 2 weeks at University starting on 25th June, AND I still have some left in the bag to take before I leave work on 31st July. Yay! Things are looking good.

I will endeavour to get started with module 3 tonight. It's all about trends in the periodic table so it's not too complicated but it can be a little confusing if you don't get the facts right to start with. I have managed an 80% plus score so far, which qualifies me to A-Level standard, so it will be nice if I can manage not to let the standard slip. I suppose I'll just have to muster up some energy from somewhere, get my head down and keep on trucking.

Oh, the best news of all is that I've hired a cleaner. Well, two actually, who will come to deliver me from dust-related torment on Thursday afternoon. If I pay them extra they'll even do my ironing and change the bedlinen. Bliss!

One down, five to go

Module 1 complete! Yay!

It's been a really long time since I last posted, which just goes to show how hard I've been working, honest! I have managed to log 51.5 hours of study for module 1 with hardly any 'creativity' on the timesheet I have to keep. It's been a bit of a slog but nowhere near as difficult as I thought it was going to be despite the amount of information I have already written down in my enormous ringbinder file.

The videos, as I said before, are more like study guides with a few interesting gems of knowledge thrown in, more like pointers to the kinds of things I should be reading about. I have 2 main textbooks to learn from; one A-Level and one more complicated and a lot fatter, so when I have topic I don't know anything about, I start in the GCSE textbook (Muppetry for Beginners), then move on to the A-Level textbook (Chemistry for Dummies) and then on to the complicated one (Really Difficult Chemistry for Clever People). So far I have discovered that A-Level chemistry isn't really all that hard.

I sometimes wonder why I found it so complicated at school, and then I remember my awful teacher (Mr Hart...he of the comb-over, grey moth-eaten slacks and nasty, nasty grey squeaky shoes) and suddenly I realise why. Bad teachers really do have a lot to answer for.

I have had to submit 3 assignments for this course. The first was the timesheet. Not too difficult, I'm pretty sure anyone can put one of those together. The second was a 'Module Reflection' - a side of A4 detailing how I think my progress has...er...progressed and what lessons I have learned to make me a better student for the next module. The third one - the Module Summary - was more tricky as I had to summarise the whole module and include key points/diagrams/pictures in a way which will be useful to me in the future. I chose to do a powerpoint presentation (no more than 15 slides allowed) and divide my key learning topics between them. This sounds pretty easy, but it's not, mainly because there's only so much information you can include on a slide whilst keeping it interesting. It took at least 2 full days to do and has been the most difficult thing I have had to produce. All these three are marked on a pass/fail basis. If I've failed any, I really need to have a re-think about my future career and perhaps go into underwater basket weaving instead. Or puppies. I could manage puppies.

I also had an online assessment to complete, which is timed. You get to take this twice for each module - once half way through to get an idea of which areas you need to work on, and once at the end, which is the final % mark (40 for GCSE, 60 for AS and 80 for A-Level). I got 39% on the first try and 89% one the second try.

This sounds like a pretty good improvement until you realise that you get the same set of 9 questions for each take. And by that I mean positively, entirely, exactly the same. So why didn't I get 100% ? Well, I still don't know why I got the first calculation wrong, but (a) who cares, and (b) I'm blaming the person who wrote the test for marking up the wrong answer as correct. Which ever way I worked the calculation, I always got the same answer. Therefore I'm right, they're wrong. End of.

Along the way of improving myself I identified my maths as being a weak point, mainly because I had to identify something to improve on and there were plenty of handy maths worksheets available for download. So I decided to try some 'maths for chemists' problems. And try as I might, I still can't get to grips with simultaneous equations, dividing fractions by fractions and how the devil you translate a square root into a real number by mucking about with algebra. I may have to pay a visit to my dear sister (or my really clever nieces) to find out the answers, but it's not on the chemistry syllabus so it can most definitely wait for another day. Hurray!

So now it's on to module 2 - thermodynamics, Hess's law (I'm assuming not Rudolph Hess?) and all that jazz to do with enthalpy changes, things with triangles in front of them (sorry, Delta signs, to indicate a change in something), lots of graphs and probability distributions and other fun ways of predicting whether something reacts with something else. This is useful when you're an alchemist because it may just save you from getting your hands burned off because you decided to wash the oil off the sodium in the bath...

Remembering, of course, that energy cannot be created or destroyed, just transformed, I will take the energy offered by a tall, iced gin and tonic and transform it into the energy required to remember lots of useful information to be imparted to the next generation of chemists. Now that's chemistry.

Enthalpy, anyone?

The distance learning course went live on Monday morning!

I watched my first video on Tuesday night and my second on Wednesday. So far I have managed to log around 8 hours (out of 50 for this module) of study over 3 days, which is better than I had imagined at the start. It is very interesting (thankfully) but there is a lot to learn. And when I say a lot, I really mean it. There are things in there that I didn't know about when I was doing my A-level, like quarks, electronic spin, electron sub-levels and probability curves (calculated using the Schrodinger equation, for those mathletes out there. And here was me thinking that Schrodinger was all about cats in boxes).

As you can probably imagine, my bed times have been getting later and later and getting out of bed has become a lot harder. I would normally manage to find the time for a lunchtime jog, but that's gone out of the window as well in favour of 30 minutes of doing nothing in the sunshine while I give my brain time to digest everything that has been going on.

Thankfully work has not been too busy for me and I am managing to keep my books on my desk to dip in to whenever there is a lull. But my lovely boss is leaving me today and I don't know who is replacing him, so whoever it is, I hope they are as relaxed about me studying at work as he is!

As for this 5 days in school thing. Well. The school I wanted to go to (next to Jocelyn's pre-school) mucked me about for a few weeks before declining my request yesterday. I phoned the next nearest school (about 15 minutes from pre-school)) yesterday but so far have heard nothing. I remain hopeful, but James and Clare, I may need your help! Not least with attending one of your schools, but also with childcare for Jocelyn for 5 days. How would you rate my chances? I have to do it otherwise they won't let me into the University in September.

The best news of all is that I only have to get 40% across the board to pass this course - which gets me to GCSE level Chemistry, although I would ideally like to get 60 or 80%, which are the AS and A level boundaries. The online assessments are also very generous - you get 10 minutes to answer each multiple choice question, leaving a moderate amount of time to check details in textbooks.

It's a strange course. The videos are more like guides to how the subject should be broken down when taught, rather than imparting much useful knowledge. The knowledge has to be picked from textbooks - of which I have plenty - which suits my current time distribution down to the ground and allows me to read and re-read, and re-read all the things that I have never heard of before. But even more strangely, the only thing they didn't make available for download is a copy of the periodic table, which is rather fundamental. And you would be amazed at how many of my textbooks have omitted a usefully large and informative copy as well.

Anyway, I can't stay around all day blogging at you lot. I have work to do. Sigh.

The books have started to arrive

I ordered all my recommended course textbooks from Amazon this week. Thankfully Amazon also sell second hand books, so I managed to save myself a great deal of money on the 11 textbooks I am expected to own. Yes, 11 books to read. I expect that instead of writing this blog, I will be spending my afternoons reading and trying to absorb facts that I haven't re-visited for the best part of 14 years. Crikey. I'm not entirely sure I understood it all back then, so this is going to be a fun and probably very steep re-learning curve! And all in the interests of creating a future generation of interested scientists. Children today (or in a couple of years time anyway) have never had it so good...

The titles of these books range from the mundane (Advanced Chemistry For You) to the bizarre (Molecules at an Exhibition: Portraits of Intriguing Materials in Everyday Life). So if anyone is desperate to learn about Mendeleyev's Dream: The Quest for the Elements, please let me know.

Hooray!

Hooray! I'm actually properly loaded onto the distance learning course, start date end of March/beginning of April, and have finally managed to contact the head of science at the secondary school next to Jocelyn's nursery for my 5 day placement. She has OFSTED next week but promises to help me after that.

Things are looking good.

A little update

I've been reading further into my distance learning course and have been shocked, dismayed and horrified by the amount of time it is going to take. I'll effectively be working an extra 35 hours a week, as each 2 week module takes around 70 hours to complete.

Gulp.

I will also need to spend about £200 on books (of which there are 11) and increase our broadband allowance to the maximum.

As yet I'm unsure about whether I'll need a Windows computer to watch the videos on. But as a bonus I'll get to talk to my tutor on Skype and listen to interesting Chemistry-related podcasts.

I also have an awful lot of video to watch - almost 87 hours, to be precise, split between 5 modules, as the last module requires 2 weeks attendance at Sussex University for the practical assessments.

Here's how it goes:

Module 1: Atomic & Electronic structure: 16 hrs of video
Module 2: Thermodynamics: 15 hours of video
Module 3: Periodicity: 19 hours of video
Module 4: Kinetics & Equilibrium: 15 hours of video
Module 5: Organic Chemistry: A whopping 22 hours of video.

I will also have at least 2 assignments and 2 assessments for each of these 5, but some have 4 or 5 to complete.

I find I'm rather looking forward to the university based module. At least I'll only have to work normal hours for that one.

They say that the PGCE year is the hardest in terms of work load. But I sincerely beg to differ.

Plus, my lovely boss who lets me get away with murder as long as I don't make it public, is stepping down from his role as of the beginning of April. I really don't know who he will be replaced by and I very much hope that it's someone equally relaxed and who doesn't feel the need to fill my working days up with...well...work. That would be very bad news for me. I am counting on keeping my long afternoons with not much to do so that I can study and save myself from going to bed at midnight every day.

So....who wants to come and be my live-in nanny for 3 months so I can give up work?

No?

Ah well, it was worth a try.

Vidlearn

http://www.vidlearn.co.uk/extra.php?id=students

This is how I will be doing my Subject Knowledge Enhancement course. It looks pretty cool, butI don't think I'll be able to do it from work!

The good news is that I attract a £2,400 tax free bursary along the way, payable monthly as long as I keep passing the modules, of which there are 6. It says on the University of Sussex website (for these are the people who run this course) that it takes around 4 months to complete, so I will be finished at the end of July.

Interestingly you get to do a self assessment at the beginning of each module, where you get to pick from "I don't know anything about this" to "I could teach this with a day to prepare". Mmm. I think I'll be ticking the "I don't know anything about this" button quite a lot...

I only get 2 chances to pass each assessment, and have to do a multitude of different kinds of coursework along the way.

Husband, I'll need a cleaner and you're on cooking and childminding. It's going to be a busy few months.

You can uncross your fingers now!

I did it! The offer came through last night, so we might have opened a bottle to celebrate! I expect many more will be drunk as and when I bump into family - the next being Beatrix's birthday party, so get the 'poo out H and George!

I'll also need to be doing 5 days at a secondary school, so Clare & James I might need your help if at all possible. Although there is a secondary school next door to Jocelyn's day care, so it might be easier for me to go there. I'll check them out later on.

I'm quite nervous about the 3 month distance learning course. It's going to be an awful lot of hard work and I think I'll need to hire a cleaner, as I probably won't have the time to spend 4 hours on Saturdays cleaning my house. I might also need to borrow a Windows computer (boo, hiss) for the duration, does anyone have a spare?! I expect I'll be able to do a lot of it at work, but anything interactive or noisy won't work on our outdated internet browser here.

So there we go. Happy me! And slightly nervous me!

We have heard from the draftsman about our house, hurray. The drawings are finished and will be sent off to building regs when we've approved them. So in about 3 weeks time we will be able to start tendering for contractors. Who knows, we may start building in April!



Offer letter:

"Choice details
Institution: University of Brighton
Course
Science: Chemistry

Decision
Conditional

Offer text
This offer is subject to you obtaining:

Gain a minimum of 5 day secondary school observation. On completion a letter from school's head of department to be forwarded to Adam Morley at the University.

Successfully complete and pass 3 month distance learning SKE Chemistry at Sussex University.

This offer is subject to obtaining satisfactory Health Clearance, a satisfactory CriminalRecords Bureau (CRB) 'Enhanced Disclosure' certificate and successful registration with the General Teaching Council.

Reply
Firm

I'm not a foreign student.

"Dear Mrs Scott,

Apologies for the delay in responding.

Thank you for your response.

I can now confirm that you have been assessed as a home fee paying student for entry onto 2012 courses with Brighton University.

Kind regards,

Admissions Team"

With any luck an offer will follow shortly.

I hope.

Nearly there...I hope...

Three and a half weeks ago, I was supposed to have had an answer within 4 days. Then I had to prove my nationality, in case I might be a foreign student, and was promised a reply within a week.

I spoke to the University on Friday, three weeks and one day after my interview. Yes, I actually managed to speak to a real life person, and not write to an email address. I have been promised an answer by the end of Monday, but if I have not heard anything by Wednesday then I have to phone back.

Let's run that one again:

Promised an answer by the end of Monday (today), but phone back if I haven't heard anything by Wednesday. Right.

The only plus point I have is that "you must know your interview was positive".

Actually, no I don't. And I need to know whether I have to juggle 3 months of distance learning with a full time job, largely absent (during daylight hours) husband and a small child. And whether I need to track down a Windows computer (boo, hiss) in order to complete said distance learning package. And I also have to have 5 full days in a secondary school science department before September if I am successful, which I need to organise and complete before the summer holidays start.

All in all, I'm pretty ticked off. And bored of waiting.

The 12 Week Countdown

Yes, I've started reading The Guardian. I think I have to really, being on the brink of joining a lefty/liberal workplace and possibly even joining a union (unless of course I am lucky enough to find work training future Tory Party members in a lovely private school with a swimming pool, ponies and a cortege of Porche Cayennes). But there are a few good things to consider and some interesting opinions too. For example, the debate about whether it is right to sack an underperforming teacher within 12 weeks:

"Assistant heads, deputies and heads are teachers too. Too much union power doesn't just ensure that failing teachers remain in post – it also protects shockingly poor senior teams who are incapable of properly supporting their staff. Unreformed union power means one size fits all: defend everyone, no matter how much they betray our children." (Katharine Birbalsingh, a former deputy headteacher).

Clare mentioned something like this to me when I called her for a chat the other week. Being an experienced teacher does not make you a good manager, and poor managers make for underperforming staff members. Will this power extend to removing heads of department for failing to effectively support and mentor their staff?

"But if local authorities and schools are able to set their own process, a teacher who might be judged good in one school might be ruled unsatisfactory in another. A lot of the time, when teachers are struggling, it's the context. Some teachers may struggle in one school, but get excellent results in another." (Alice Robinson, president of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers).

Poor management, a stressful working environment, bad facilities, different pupils...you name it, there are many many reasons for unsatisfactory results in the classroom. Who gets the right to decide who is bad? If an entire school is falling behind in its results, will all the staff be sent on their not-so-merry way? Conversely, in a top performing school, will the teacher that only gets the minimum number of A-C passes be given the heave-ho? They won't be doing badly by national standards, yet if the heads are given the power to decide who stays and who goes, then this person is likely to be first in the firing line and will have to fight very hard to find another job.

"I just don't think it's true that there are large numbers of bad teachers in schools. I think there are a few, and I fear that just as there are a small number of failing teachers, there will be a small number of heads who abuse this new process because of personality clashes with their staff." (Alice Robinson, president of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers).

Scary, but probably true unless there are strict procedures in place. 12 weeks is not a long time for a full performance review. My current workplace gives you 6 months and endless chances to redeem yourself, full one-on-one support and guidance throughout the disciplinary process.

"...the government's proposed standards apply equally to new starters and more experienced teachers. Surely performance measures should be progressive, reflecting professional development and continually challenging a teacher to improve?" (Stephen Twigg, Labour's shadow education secretary)

How much time am I, as a new teacher, allowed to take before I am measured on my capability to produce good results? I do not expect to be laid off within my first term, but when then? A year? Two? Five? How long are you allowed to underperform for before the final sentence is passed? Food for thought for sure. I agree with Mr Twigg on this one.

And in the words of one sensible parent named Sally Llwellyn; "Children only go through education once – if you go through Year 4 and you don't learn anything you never get that year back. That's a whole wasted year for 30 students."

Excellent point, and well made. Poor quality teaching has got to be dealt with, and I think the stick as well as the carrot is an effective method which is being portrayed hashly by the media and those who fear reform. You know, even if you won't admit to others, when you're not trying your hardest and you've given up. Perhaps the threat of swift dismissal will help a few lazy ones to sharpen up (oh dear, can you tell I'm married to an Adjutant with a penchant for sacking soldiers?) and will improve the lives of a few important children. As for me, I'm determined to give it my best shot. Teaching is a vocation, not a job, and I think it takes a special sort of person to do it well regardless of the amount of criticism, statistics and bad behaviour that is thrown at them. I just hope I have what it takes to achieve what I would like to.


Removing bad teachers – panel verdict
Underperforming teachers could be dismissed within a term instead of a year, under powers being introduced in September
Katharine Birbalsingh, Alice Robinson, Stephen Twigg, Sally Llewellyn
guardian.co.uk, Friday 13 January 2012 17.14 GMT

The Long Wait

"You should know the result of your interview in three or four days."

Erm....wrong.

Although it's not all bad. I had an email from the University yesterday asking for a copy of my passport (already supplied before my interview) and a copy of any visas I may have held over the last two years, in order that they can determine whether I'm a UK resident and qualify for funding. So it hasn't been a flat 'no' already.

Here's hoping they don't decide I'm a foreign student.

I am totally sick of explaining about the Forces lifestyle. It says HM Forces on my marriage certificate (supplied before my interview) for goodness sake. Isn't anything easy?!

The Interview

Well as it turns out, there is nowhere to park at the Falmer Campus. I spent the whole day worrying whether or not my car was going to get clamped. Thanks for the heads up, Brighton. (OK, so if I had read the email all the way to the bottom I would have known. UIt's a good job that Inititative is not one of the assessment criteria)

The interview day wasn't too bad. We started off with Death By Powerpoint, where they explained all about the PGCE course, the University and the funding available (£15,000 bursary plus anything that Hastings council might offer) - which will largely go towards my rail travel to and from Hastings. Awesome.

We then did a written English test, where we got given an article from The Times about league tables, and told to summarise it and write an opinion about it. This, she said, is purely to make sure that you can read and write coherant English. I'm pretty sure I aced that that one. I even used an expensive pen.

After that came a very strange group interview. We sat around in groups of 7 or 8 and had to discuss various statements which were printed on green card. They said things like "Children learn best when they learn by rote", "Children learn best when they are allowed to explore their environment", " Children learn best when they have a parent or carer at home". So we discussed these while important looking people with clip boards wrote things about us on orange paper. All the pieces of paper used that day were colour coded. How organised.

After that we were separated into our PGCE subject groups, which meant that the majority of the room left with the English department, most of the the rest went to Geography, one each went to RS, Maths and Business Studies and 5 to the Science department - 3 Chemistry, 1 Biology and 1 Physics. I guess the financial incentives are working. Except for Physics....nobody really likes Physics...

Anyway, we had a fun lecture in the labs from the heads of Science and a local Headmaster who reminded me a lot of our own dear James (personality, not looks, he had teeth like Bugs Bunny), during which they explained that Brighton is the best University in the world and turns out extremely good teachers who often get offered jobs by the schools they do their teaching placements in. Fab! The room we were in was just like at school, with those funny high stools and the very evocative smell of formaldehyde, gas and burnt wood that put me right back into my uniform, sitting next to Zoe opposite the fume cupboard with Mr Hart 'teaching'. It also had an interactive whiteboard which we were not allowed to play with, but I'm dying to have a go with it because it looks like a prop from Mission Impossible. I expect the novelty will wear off pretty quickly, but I thought it was quite cool.

I had my interview first, at about 12.30, by virtue of the fact that I had furthest to travel home. I did tell them I was only going back to Hastings but it didn't make any difference. I was glad not to have that awful waiting around time in which to get nervous and tounge tied.

We spent the first 5 minutes talking about the Subject Knowledge Enhancement (SKE) course that I have to do in order to teach Chemistry as I didn't take it at degree level. I had applied to do the year long SKE course at Brighton before starting the PGCE or going straight onto the Graduate Training Placement (GTP) - where you learn on the job in school. The University won't have any idea about how many SKE places (if any) they will have until June, when the funding is confirmed, which means that they couldn't have offered me a place on the PGCE until June, as an offer of a place would be conditional on me accepting and completing the SKE......so......he offered me the chance to pack the year long course into 3 months distance learning starting in April and do it through Sussex University, leaving me free to start the PGCE in September this year, which effectively puts me a whole year ahead of my original plans. Hurray! I of course jumped at the chance, but I'm beginning to think that it might not be such a good idea because it will be an awful lot of work - 9 months into 3 for starters, plus a full time job and child to look after. There is the potential that I won't sleep for 3 months because I won't have the time. Mmm.

Anyway, once I'd got over being excited by this news, we went through the interview with the obvious questions like:

Why do you want to teach Chemistry when your degree was in Biology? (Chemistry's fun isn't it?)
What are the issues in the media surrounding teaching at the moment? (Pensions - no opinion. Directionless at the moment, with significant lack of good ideas by the people in charge....And you still want to be a teacher?.....er....yes?)
Did a particular teacher inspire you at school and how? (Mrs Dziedzic and the trout pressure chart. Priceless)
What is your experience of teaching? (I actually have quite a lot of this, just not in the classroom. Fun, memorable and some of the only times I would repeat over and over)
Have you ever witnessed a bad teacher and what was it that made them bad? And what would you do differently? (A Chemistry teacher in NZ who had obviously given up. I'd do better)
How was the Nuffield Chemistry course? (Dreadful)
You obviously have a lot of leadership skills and are used to being in charge (Husband take note). How will you manage when you are a new teacher and don't know anything? (I'm sure I'll be fine, I'm not a total moron with no social skills)
Describe a time in your life when you've been pushed to the limit and how did you cope? (Thank you Sandhurst for providing endless subject matter. Telling someone you didn't sleep for 3 or 4 days in a row because you were digging a giant hole with a teaspoon-sized bendy shovel always sounds impressive)

So, nothing too challenging but plently of traps to fall into for the unwary.

After that moderately uncomfortable 20 minutes I was set free and was home by 2.30 (no clamp on the car). I should know whether I have been offered a place by the end of this week. I will let you all know with shouts of joy if it's a yes.

Three days and counting...

It is now Monday, and my interview is on Thursday. I've been frantically reading The Guardian in an attempt to reacquaint myself with the left wing side of me that has been tucked away in the box room since I married into a family that is blue to the core, and getting 'nervouser and nervouser', although I know that should I use that phrase in my written English test I will probably be sent straight home without even being allowed to finish my coffee.

I have confirmed my stance on the following topics:

1) The Cane, and its use in the classroom: probably a good idea, if only for the sanity of the teachers.
2) Sacking bad teachers quickly: brilliant, as long as it's not me.
3) Searching pupils for drugs, weapons, phones and other contraband items: well, teachers have to supplement their incomes somehow, and ebay is marvellously easy these days.

I jest, of course. Apart from number 2.

So this week is going to be a bit of a labour of love. I will make the journey from Topcliffe on Wednesday, and drive the 300 or so miles to Hastings with Jocelyn in the back and braving the Dartford Crossing in my very stylish but underpowered BMW before entrusting the care of my daughter to Grandpa on Thursday morning, (what could go wrong? He's qualified in the care of children after all) before Granny rescues him after lunch. The day itself involves a group interview, where I am reliably informed by my older and infinitely more knowledgeable sister and brother-in-law that they are looking for someone who is well balanced, fair and open-minded. Sounds good so far. I also have a written English test, which involves me actually writing in English. Gasp. No computer with handy spell check. So much for teaching moving lightning fast into the 21st Century. And then there will be the one-on-one interview, 30 minutes of interrogation about why in the world I have chosen Chemistry as my PGCE subject and not Biology, which is my first love as those who know me well can testify. I have several reasons, outlined as follows...

1) I may well be able to get a bursary of up to £20,000 to re-train for a year.
2) I'll get a jolly big 'Golden Hello'.
3) There is a shortage of decent Chemistry teachers, so the chances are good that I'll get into a decent school.
4) Good chemists get to design really great things, like cars and bombs and rocket fuel, and exciting ways to brew alcohol from garden vegetables.

And as for the reasons that I can actually voice out loud in front of the interview panel:

5) Chemistry is a really cool subject (yes, now please stop choking on your coffee) because the practicals are visual and easy to relate to modern industry.
6) Whatever you say, titrating potassium permangonate is pretty.
7) Bunsen burners add a little danger, and everyone knows that danger is exciting.
8) You get to explode sodium in buckets of water.
9) I'd like to try to break the steroetype that all Chemistry teachers are boring old men with bad breath, grey shoes, comb-overs and BO. Clever women are role models, ladies and gents!
10) I joined the Army for a while. Surely teaching can't be as bad as that.

Ok, perhaps the last reason needs a little work, but it is true that there is a push to recruit new teachers from the Armed Forces.

I read recently an article in The Guardian about the use of humour in the classroom. "Don't smile until Easter" I was told. I don't know about you, but when I was a teenager, the odd joke now and again made the lessons more interesting and made the teacher more real. I'll let you know how I get on with that when I've had to see the funny side of some serious bunsen burner related scarring and / or the after effects of pupils drinking stolen ethanol.

I think it will be fun, mostly. In my last two jobs I have been pushed into training roles and have been expected to become a subject matter expert with the minimum of knowledge ('winging it', in common parlance), and it has been brilliant. I think the classroom is a pretty natural place for me; after all, who doesn't like to be cleverer than everybody else in the room? Now if it weren't for those pesky kids...