I know, it’s been a long time hasn’t it? I have had so much
to do I’ve not known where to put myself or even what day of the week it is
most of the time. My time has been one
long episode of lesson planning, finding resources and worrying that I’m
totally going to much up in front of a class full of small boys. Luckily this hasn’t happened yet, but there
is still time…
It was such a huge culture shock coming from Stonar to this
- they really could not be more polar opposite schools – that I felt extremely
overwhelmed and uptight all of the time, unable to do anything without that sick feeling that you get when you’re
really nervous, not sleeping well, waking up through the night sweating, being
unable to get to sleep in the first place because there was so much going round
and round in my head. The worst few days
were before my observation by my university tutor last week. I really didn’t know what he was going to
say. Do I have an annoying voice? Do I do or say something over again that gets
irritating after 5 minutes? Am I actually any good at this teaching lark or is
it time to pack up and go home?
Honestly, it’s like being at the longest job interview in the world.
Well, my university tutor had nothing bad to say. Cue instant relief. There is plenty of room for improvement, of
course, but he said he was happy with me.
Yippee!
It now feels as if a huge weight has been lifted from me,
and I can get on and start enjoying myself.
I find I am actually looking forward to going into school in the
mornings, trying new things out and testing the waters between me and the
hundreds of small children (some not so small) that cross my path every day. Yes I still get nervous, but it’s starting to
fade down and is much more manageable. I
am rarely waking in a cold sweat in the night and have almost totally stopped
feeling sick.
I rather like the school now too. As I’ve said before, it’s not without its
problems, but I am so much better at managing everything that it’s become much
easier over the past week or so. I know
my way around, I have friends in the staff room, and I’m finally able to start
learning the tips of the trade from the experts. All in all, I’m quite happy. If I’d dared to write anything in here during
the week after half term you’d have thought I was just about to pack it in (I
felt like it. It was awful). I’m so glad
that the university took me seriously and sent me off to learn about behaviour
management for a day. A little bit of
compassion goes a very long way. I
talked it through with my mentor at school, with other new teachers, with
everyone who would listen really, and they all said the same thing: they have
all been to that same dark place and managed to come out of the other side a
better person.
There’s also the fact that 2 of my sisters are qualified
teachers. There’s no WAY I’m giving
up. Can you imagine the ribbing I’d
get? I’d never be allowed to forget it.
So here I am, three weeks until Christmas, six teaching
weeks until the end of the placement here at William Parker. That’s only three teaching cycles (we work on
a two week timetable- another concept totally alien to me). Thirty days at school. Wow. Then a month at uni before the second
placement starts.
I really can’t wait until the holidays. I am sooooo heartily
sick of working past bedtime. Ho hum,
it’s not forever, and it is right on top of my list of reasons not to work in a
private school.
I think I’m going to miss working here when the time comes
to leave*. The staff are so friendly
that no matter what the kids throw at you (literally and metaphorically
speaking – one of the cover teachers was assaulted with a desk fan a couple of
days ago) there is always a friendly someone who will listen and pat you on the
back and reassure you that you’re doing ok.
It really is a great place to be.
*the management reserves the right to totally change her
mind about this at any time.
