Long time....

I know, it’s been a long time hasn’t it? I have had so much to do I’ve not known where to put myself or even what day of the week it is most of the time.  My time has been one long episode of lesson planning, finding resources and worrying that I’m totally going to much up in front of a class full of small boys.  Luckily this hasn’t happened yet, but there is still time…

It was such a huge culture shock coming from Stonar to this - they really could not be more polar opposite schools – that I felt extremely overwhelmed and uptight all of the time, unable to do anything without  that sick feeling that you get when you’re really nervous, not sleeping well, waking up through the night sweating, being unable to get to sleep in the first place because there was so much going round and round in my head.  The worst few days were before my observation by my university tutor last week.  I really didn’t know what he was going to say.  Do I have an annoying voice?  Do I do or say something over again that gets irritating after 5 minutes? Am I actually any good at this teaching lark or is it time to pack up and go home?  Honestly, it’s like being at the longest job interview in the world.

Well, my university tutor had nothing bad to say.  Cue instant relief.  There is plenty of room for improvement, of course, but he said he was happy with me.  Yippee!

It now feels as if a huge weight has been lifted from me, and I can get on and start enjoying myself.  I find I am actually looking forward to going into school in the mornings, trying new things out and testing the waters between me and the hundreds of small children (some not so small) that cross my path every day.  Yes I still get nervous, but it’s starting to fade down and is much more manageable.  I am rarely waking in a cold sweat in the night and have almost totally stopped feeling sick.

I rather like the school now too.  As I’ve said before, it’s not without its problems, but I am so much better at managing everything that it’s become much easier over the past week or so.  I know my way around, I have friends in the staff room, and I’m finally able to start learning the tips of the trade from the experts.  All in all, I’m quite happy.  If I’d dared to write anything in here during the week after half term you’d have thought I was just about to pack it in (I felt like it. It was awful).  I’m so glad that the university took me seriously and sent me off to learn about behaviour management for a day.  A little bit of compassion goes a very long way.  I talked it through with my mentor at school, with other new teachers, with everyone who would listen really, and they all said the same thing: they have all been to that same dark place and managed to come out of the other side a better person.

There’s also the fact that 2 of my sisters are qualified teachers.  There’s no WAY I’m giving up.  Can you imagine the ribbing I’d get?  I’d never be allowed to forget it.

So here I am, three weeks until Christmas, six teaching weeks until the end of the placement here at William Parker.  That’s only three teaching cycles (we work on a two week timetable- another concept totally alien to me).  Thirty days at school. Wow.  Then a month at uni before the second placement starts.

I really can’t wait until the holidays. I am sooooo heartily sick of working past bedtime.  Ho hum, it’s not forever, and it is right on top of my list of reasons not to work in a private school.

I think I’m going to miss working here when the time comes to leave*.  The staff are so friendly that no matter what the kids throw at you (literally and metaphorically speaking – one of the cover teachers was assaulted with a desk fan a couple of days ago) there is always a friendly someone who will listen and pat you on the back and reassure you that you’re doing ok.  It really is a great place to be.

*the management reserves the right to totally change her mind about this at any time.

Reshaping the beret

I know it should be a cloth badge. But it's fun!

Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

Please say no....

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/9634138/Would-you-pass-the-new-trainee-teacher-test.html

I have to say, this teaching lark is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.  No, that's not quite true.  The actual teaching bit is the easy bit, it's all the other stuff that is difficult.

There is so much extra work involved - most of which the university makes up to be fair, this is the stuff I can ditch when I'm qualified, which will the year after next.  So the next two years will be awful, and after that it will be plain sailing.  Right?

Mmm.

I've just handed in my first assignment, which was three lesson plans (already taught) and a 2000 word rationale all about
a) differentiation (not the maths kinds, but the bit where we are supposed to be able to teach genius and...er...inbility just as effectively in the same lesson. Yeah right),
b) assessment for learning, or AFL as we teachers call it, which is where we make constant assessment of the class throughout the lesson to see how the little darlings (cough) are absorbing (cough, splutter) all the information presented,
c) progression - i.e. can I work on what I have done and make it better next time around,
d) reflections, the wordy reasoning all about the above point,
e) the use of brilliant resources and course material
f).....you get the picture....

There is so much to think about, so many techniques to learn and practise, so much planning, and I cannot emphasise how much planning there is to do - each lesson must have a plan submitted 2 days before I teach it, and in a few weeks time I will be teaching 12 hours a week, and the plans are currently taking me 1 - 2 hours each; so worst case scenario I have 36 hours of teaching and planning.  Plus I have to evaluate every lesson, write a reflection on it, say what I could have done ebetter and what I did well.... we're rapidly heading into the 48 hour territory here, plus I have to collect evidence for my teaching standards and upload it all onto the university system, another 5 hours a week (53 hours so far...), and I'm supposed to have a daughter who needs my time, and a dog (not for long, if he carries on the way he's going), and a family....  And some time to sleep might be a nice thing to have as well.  Plus I have more assignments for university to do, which involve a lot of reading and taking notes.

And I have these silly tests to pass (link above).  We get one go for free, a further 2 charged at £20 a time if we fail, and after that guess what?  Yep, exclusion for 2 years.  2 YEARS! I mean, really.  Talk about government vote winning tactics or what.  Actually, please don't talk about that, I've had enough.  That's a can of worms that will remain firmly shut for the moment.  Firmly.  Shut.

Half term could not come soon enough.

So basically I'm very, very busy.  It's been great having a couple of days at Uni a week to relax a bit, chew the fat, drink the odd beer and generally have a whinge about how hard life is at the moment with my friends.  You should have seen us all last week, big bags under our eyes, practically sleep walking our way through lectures.  It was quite comedic really, but strangely cathartic to see your peers suffering right along with you. 

I have taught 5 hours so far in my life, some good, some not so good, but mostly enjoyable despite the hours of preparation being wasted because these kids just don't want to be at school and refuse point blank to play the game.  Sometimes it's quite depressing.  I'm planning to go and work in a very selective, lovely, private school where the parents actually take some part in their childrens lives and where theachers don't avoid the pupils because that would mean dealing with their behaviour, which is spiraling rapidly out of control and verging in being dangerous.  In my first week I thought I was going to be hit, I've been nearly pushed down the stairs and also almost kicked over by two boys having a 'play' fight in the corridor.  I've learned why teachers avoid pupils.  I now do the same.

It's bonkers really.  We need police, not teachers. 

In my classes I have approximately 40% of pupils with special educational needs.  Surely this can't be right?  Is the school applying them with a label just to account for their poor progress?  The label would better be applied as 'lazy and can't be bothered to learn' in most of the cases.  I'm teaching 13 yeard old boys who can't even write a sentence.  There is no way they will be able to get decent GCSEs because they just will not learn, and say they don't care.

I know Hastings is a pretty deprived area in terms of social factors.  I know that those who can afford it send their kids away to find a decent education, and we are left with the rest.  But I also know that it's not a case of teachers failing students, it's more like a case of parents failing to bring their kids up properly and thus failing the education system.  There's only so much you can do in a couple of hours a week with a child, only so many times you can discipline a child before the sanctions don't work any more, and you can't afford to exclude them from the school because the school gets charged £8000 for each pupil excluded.  And we can't even afford textbooks.  It is ludicrous.  There are at least 8 children I can think of off the top of my head who need to be excluded because nobody can learn while they are in the room.  That's £64,000.  Yikes.  These kids are failing the school, not the teachers.  Take the boy (we'll call him J) who insists on walking around the classroom punching the other boys, taking their pens out of their hands, tearing up their work and generally being a nuisance.  J does not have a statement of special educational needs, probably because his parents can't manage to sort out the application process.  In fact I'd be willing to bet that they can't read or write either.  Would I be punished for sending him out of the room time and time again?  You bet I would, because 'Every Child Matters', and yet there are several other boys in the class who could raise up a grade or two if they were allowed to work.  What can you do? Don't they matter too?

So what am I going to do about it?

Well, apply for a job in a different school for a start.  One where there isn't a child (M) who hates women.  Vocally.  And frequently.

But for the minute, I'm stuck at William Parker, and in Hastings.  I'm pretty determined to learn all I can from this rather eye-opening experience.  And lobby for the return of National Service.  And then apply for a different school.

No, seriously, there is a lot of satisfaction to be gained from getting through on some level to some of these kids, and I find myself feeling really sorry for them having to go through life as a totally dysfunctional adult who cannot see past the end of his own nose.  I want to be the best that I can, and if that means struggling to find a way through to some of these boys then I'm prepared for now.  But I will need an easier time in the future, there's no doubt about it.

Did you know that 50% of new teachers leave the profession before the 5 year point?  I wonder why...

Right. Rant over.  I feel better now, thanks for listening.  I'm at William Parker until 25th January, then start a different placement in March.  I'll take anything where boys are not thumping each other all day long and I have a chance of not losing my voice. 

I'll keep you posted.

In for a penny....

I get to teach my first lesson tomorrow.  I've been told I'll pass just a long as a) some learning takes place, and b) nobody gets sent to A&E.  Fingers crossed.

The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur really, I don't know where the time has gone.  I've been in school from Mondays - Wednesdays and then at Uni Thursdays & Fridays, and it's been fun to swap ideas about lessons, and yarns about how brilliant we are and what we've managed to achieve. Mostly it's not a lot, but you have to start somewhere.

School has been at once frustrating and hectic.  It's difficult to find the time to eat and drink, and subsequently use the toilet, so I've been spending most of the days pretty well dehydrated and coming home with a headache.  I've also been itching to get my hands wet, so to speak,because observing lesson after lesson is pretty dull and I've run out of things to write about in my reflections.

There are also the usual admin (or lack of) stresses, such as:
not knowing how to get about the rabbit warren that is William Parker,
not being able to print on the school network,
not having access to the relevant course material (can you believe it....what good is a teacher who can't see what it is they're going to teach?),
not having a key to the science labs (and having to queue up with the kids while they're busy throwing their ties down the stairs, kicking each other and generally being dreadful),
not knowing the school rules (a copy of these does not exist anywhere),
not really understanding a great deal of what goes on, anywhere....

My professional tutor today asked me for my opinion about the school on the proviso that nothing said would leave the room.  So I told her the conclusions I came to after week one (I'm not going to repeat it online in case the Google Monster picks it up and I get fired) and I felt a lot better.  She wouldn't say whether she agreed with me or not, but a certain twinkle in the eye, cheesy grin and nudge in the ribs appeared to indicate an opinion not far away from mine.  Call me and I'll tell you if you like, but it's not very exciting.

It's not all bad.  I really like the department I work in, they are extremely friendly and welcoming and seem to make a really good team.  I like most of the kids, and those that I don't like usually have a pretty dreadful story to tell which explains (but does not excuse, I add here) their terrible behaviour, language and general inability/unwillingness to participate in class.  The behavioral policy is strong, although it is not implemented consistently, so there is always support when you're having a dreadful time with a pupil.

All in all I'm pretty happy at the moment, and most of the little stresses and niggles will go away in time....  Except the kids.  They won't go away.  But anyway, if they weren't there then this blog would be pretty pointless....

I'll get back to you tomorrow, after they've hung me up to dry after a lesson on the carbon cycle.  With any luck I'll have enjoyed myself, they will have learned something and nobody will have gone to A&E.  Not even me.

Comedy

Just had PSHE group, all about body language and expression. Watched Catherine Tate and Harry Enfield. Hilarious! Then was treated to some home made comedy from the kids, interesting to see how some of the troublesome ones were really good at acting. Very amusing morning. I don't think that physics can possibly match up after that!


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Call me Ma'am

I forgot to say, I've joined the CCF (cadets) as well.  Time to dust off the old 2Lt rank slides and get back in the saddle!  Yippee!

William Parker

You know, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be!

I can't believe I've had a week there already and am into the second.  The time has flown by and it has been really good despite not knowing what I am doing, where I am going and what on earth I can say to boys who are karate kicking each other halfway up the stairwell, sticking thermometers down the backs of their trousers ("I'm just taking my anal temperature Miss"), and setting fire to their blazer sleeves with bunsen burners.  Young boys are soooooo lovely.

Well the day I arrived (last Monday) was a very, very bad day to arrive.  You can't make this stuff up.

The last chemistry teacher had died the previous morning.  Suddenly.






Well quite.  I didn't know what to say either, so I spent the morning in maths classes before venturing over to the science labs fully expecting to be sent on my way and no longer welcome at the school, but I was not, and for that I am very thankful because I am really enjoying myself.  I was very unsure about how I would deal with 'behaviour' and what sort of 'behaviour' I would encounter (answer:  you think it, they do it), but having spent so long watching other teachers and seeing what they do I have realised that (a) there is no particular method you can use, (b) trial and error is as good a way as any of finding out, and (c) often just doing nothing can help.  Of course there is (d) call the crisis helpline, but that is hardly ever needed, apparently.

I have spent quite a lot of time being quite bored and totally disorientated by the wierd twisting split-level architecture that is so common around here, what with there being lots of cliffs and hills and stuff. But what I have loved is getting to know the boys regardless of how 'bad' they are, because they are all really fun to be around.  Yes, it's pretty difficult to make some of them concentrate and do work, and there are some classes with some very special people in who do some very strange things, but getting to interact with them really makes my day.

Well, that and the fact that I only see them for about 5 hours.  It is nice when they all go home.

So despite what was probably the worst start in history and a pretty crummy first few days, I love this job already.  Which is lucky, because the University just gave me a huge bill.  T'would be a shame to waste the money!